Jaded Sapphires
by Seriosity
Summary: “Urgent news from the Petalburg Kingdom! Your engagement to Prince Ruby has been broken off, and in replacement, from the La Rousse Kingdom, Prince Jade is to be your new fiancé!” Full summary inside; CS, PS, IS Crackish in first chapter, beware!
1. Chapter 1

**_Jaded Sapphires_**

**_Summary(full): "Sapphire-hime, Sapphire-hime! Urgent news from the Petalburg Kingdom! Your engagement to Prince Ruby has been broken off, and in replacement, from the La Rousse Kingdom, Prince Jade is to be your new fiancé!" A young violet-haired girl exclaimed in unison with a navy blue haired boy about the same age as her._**

**_An awkward silence…_**

**_"SAY WHAT!?" CS, PS, IS, semi AU_**

**_And unbeknownst to the group, a certain grasshead was watching them, with mild interest._**

Chapter One: My Name is NOT Sapphire

As our heroes exit the Maple Residence, a certain green haired coordinator enters the city…

"Thanks again for having us over, Mister and Misses Maple!" Ash called out while waving.

Norman glared at Ash for always being so loud, but said nothing. Caroline hit her husband on the head with a frying pan for his rudeness.

"You're welcome Ash, but no problem! And make sure to not get yourself killed, take care!" Caroline waved enthusiastically as she said this. She then turned to Norman and her eyes gleamed, as if saying 'We're going to have fun everyday until the kids come home.'

Norman shivered and tried to scream, but Caroline covered her husband's mouth, and dragged him upstairs. (A/N: 0o Let's get back to the non-weirdos of this story…)

Meanwhile…

"OH EM GEE! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GET TO GO TO A NEW REGION AND PARTICIPATE IN CONTESTS AS A TEAM, RIGHT, MAY!?" Dawn screamed obnoxiously in May's ear.

"AHHHHH!! I'VE GONE DEAF, DEAF I SAY, DEAF!" May yelled and began running around frantically in circles.

"Well, well, well, it seems the klutz has officially gone insane." A voice called out arrogantly. May's eyes narrowed as she stopped her spazz attack, then turned abruptly to the buttwipe that insulted her.

"YOU!" May shouted as she pointed accusingly at Drew. Said boy smirked, and threw her a red rose.

As May caught it, he said, "Hmph, at least your fashion sense is slightly better."

It was true; May didn't actually have the puppy dog-ears hairstyle. It was a wig, hiding her Green-ish hair (no, not literally, I mean the character, Green or you may know her as blue). Except she didn't have the same type of bangs, they swept to the left if you were looking at her.

She had a light red lacy tube top over a green camisole, and a white mini-skort (skirt + shorts underneath). She still had the gloves she had in the Kanto and Johto regions on, though. Fortunately, May also got rid of her hideous sneakers, and replaced them with white sneakers with 2 silver and blue streaks on the sides.

As May fumed, Dawn just stared at Drew, confused. Drew flipped his hair, and then looked over to Dawn.

"And who is this ditzy girl?" Greenie asked, pointing to Dawn.

"HEY! My name is Dawn, and I am not a ditzy girl! Do you hear me!?" Dawn screeched at him.

"OWWWW, OH EM EFF GEE, STFU DAWN! GOD, I'M ABOUT TO GO DEAF HERE!" May randomly screamed.

"I thought you were already deaf."

"Well, I guess I'm not."

"Oh really?"

"Yarly."

"Oh em gee, no way."

"Yeah, seriousleh!"

"Seriously!?"

"Seriously."

"Are you su-"

"SHUT UP ALREADY" Brock shouted.

May just smiled innocently and said, "Woah, Brock. You were so quiet, I forgot you were here!"

Ash just sulked in a random corner, hurt that he was being ignored. Pikachu suddenly slapped Ash for being emo, and then ran off into the tall grass.

For a few moments, Ash just stared into blank space.

…

"Dude, what the _hell _just happened?" Ash panicked, rolled into a fetal position, and started hyperventilating.

"I swear, I think I've gone insane." Drew muttered in a daze.

"Haha! Your pikachu just ran away from you!" a certain old rival teased Ash.

"OMG! It's that one dude with the spiky hair who used to wear ugly clothes!" May shouted.

"GARY I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE WITH MY PIKACHU!" Ash exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Idiot, your stupid pikachu just ran away from you a few minutes ago, what makes you think that you can actually beat me?" Gary replied.

Ash pouted, and shouted, "You're such a meanie weenie!"

And unbeknownst to everybody else, May and Drew snuck off somewhere… Probably to make out, but I'm not saying yet. :D

Okay, I lied, I'm showing you now.

With Drew and May

"So why exactly did you give me the rose this time?" May asked.

"It's for beautifly." Drew said coolly.

"Unless you're in love with my beautifly, I seriously doubt that."

Drew suddenly choked on his spit (Eww, but it seriously hurts when you do, so yeah).

"What makes you say that, May-May?" Drew asked nervously.

"I looked online and it said that red roses mean love."

"No, they don't!"

"Liar!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Lies, all lies!"

"You're not Frau from Austin Powers."

"Yes, I am!"

"Frau is a girl!"

"No she isn't!(A/N:ROFFLEMAYONAISE)"

"Just tell me why you gave me the rose!"

"Well, actions speak louder than words!"

"Flowers represent words!"

"This is a pointless argument!"

"I know!"

"No, you don't know!"

"Yes, I know!"

"You do-"

"SHUT UP AND TELL ME!"

"I love you."

"Really?"

After lots of mini arguments and dialogue, the moment of truth is about to unveil itself, like how that one lady on a soap opera was unveiled and soon everyone found out that she wasn't the real bride. And like how that weird lady shot the groom, and I don't know what happened after that!

"You really love me?"

"Are you that dense?"

"No, I just don't believe it."

Drew's eyes softened.

"Why would you think that, May?"

"You always tease me and tell me what a lousy coordinator I am." May murmured on the verge of tears.

The green haired boy's eyes widened, and soon he embraced her.

May looked up to him innocently, her eyes shining from the fake tears. Drew couldn't tell she was acting, so he hugged her tighter.

The brunette slowly closed her eyes and leaned closer to Drew's face even though there was a 3-inch height difference. He mimicked her actions, and soon their lips touched.

1…

2…

3…

Drew instantly pulled back after the short kiss, and blushed bright red.

May hung onto him, and it didn't seem like she was going to let go. She grinned and pecked him on the cheek, not caring about his reaction.

"Why did you do that?" Drew said, regaining his composure.

"You know, they say actions speak louder than words." The young girl replied cheekily.

He frowned, "You stole my line."

"Dude, anybody can say that. It's cheesy anyways, think of a new one."

"No thanks, I'm not that creative."

"Well, your outfit contradicts what you just said."

"Hey, I'm not the one who wore a puppy dog ear wig!"

"Yes, you are."

"What!"

"I have a picture of you when you thought you were drunk after we told you the grape juice we gave you was wine!"

His eyes narrowed, and pointed at her accusingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, you're a liar!"

May smirked, and flashed out a picture of Drew with a sky blue version of May's puppy dog ear wig, singing into a hair brush while he jumped on a table.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The scream was so girly, you couldn't tell who it was.

Five hours later

May and Drew had finally made their way out of the woods to join the group of rookie noobs.

Ash was anime-style crying in a fetal position while Gary laughed at him. Dawn was on her pink razor cell phone, probably talking to Paul.

And Brock? He's really unimportant in this story, so he was just standing there with a blank expression on his face.

And in the distance, a portal opened, revealing a violet haired 8 year old with dark sapphire eyes, and a young boy the same age with navy blue hair and dark grey eyes.

Dun Dun DUNNNNNAH!!

Cliffhanger, but it'll match up with the summary in the next chapter. Expect an update in 2 days! Ciao, please review!

I'm open to suggestions if I can't update sooner!

Midnight Beautiful Jade


	2. Why don't I get to be Emerald?

**_A/N: I feel awful and ashamed, my last chapter looks like a piece of crap, and it didn't have anything to do with the plot until the end. And the chapter title didn't match… D: Anyways…… I didn't get any reviews yet! sob I do not own Charlie the Unicorn, nor do I have anything to do with the plot line of that video. Obviously, I'm just using it to make cheap humor._**

Chapter 2: Why Don't I Get to Be Emerald?

May slowly sat down, bored, and forgot what the group was even supposed to do.

Then she noticed something out of the ordinary, sticking out like a sore thumb. Like how Michael Jackson would stick out at an all boys day care, or how a cheerleader would look at a Heavy Metal concert.

Pikachu was gone.

"Ash, did Team Rocket come by or something?" May asked.

"No, never! Why would you think that?" Ash replied nervously.

"Well, I don't see your pikachu around anywhere. Or is he hiding?"

"U-Uh, he's in his pokeball!" He really couldn't think of another excuse.

"Well, that's strange. You told me he hated going in his pokeball."

"Y-Yeah, he does, b-but he was tired! Yeah, that's right! Pikachu was tired so I returned him in his pokeball!" Ash was seriously slipping up, and May wasn't buying it.

"Pikachu ran away from Ash, didn't he?" Drew whispered to Gary.

Gary snorted, and nodded, making Ash fume.

"Whatever, where are we going next, and- Dawn! Whom are you talking to on your cell phone," May said.

Dawn's eyes shifted somewhere else, "No one."

"Liarface."

"I am not!"

"Orly?"

"Yarly?"

"I'm sorry, what did you say? I didn't quite hear you."

"I SAID YARLY!" Dawn screamed at May.

"SHUT UP ALREADY, I'M TRYING TO MAKE MY MOVE ON SOME INNOCENT GIRL!" Brock yelled at the two.

Drew fell over, probably because he went deaf.

May's eyes narrowed, and then she glared at Dawn.

Glare.

Glare returned.

Minutes passed, and the girls kept glaring at each other. Drew made a movement to pull May away, but Gary stopped him. After about half an hour, they were still in the same position, glaring.

Dawn stopped glaring and suddenly asked, "Wait, what were we glaring at each other for again?"

"HA! I win the glare competition! Celebrate with me, Drew!" May shouted and pulled Drew next to her.

"What the hell-"

"IS EVERYBODY'S PROBLEM WITH IGNORING ME!?" Ash screamed.

"What do you want us to do? Shower you with attention?"

"No, bu-"

He trailed off as soon as he saw everybody staring, or rather glaring, in Brock's case. Ash shuddered, and stumbled back, trying to avoid everybody's gaze.

"G-Guys, be reasonable! What did I do to you?"

"You fried our bikes." May and Dawn angrily stated.

"You wanted us to shower you with attention." Drew said casually, and flicked his hair, smirking when May swooned (A/N:ROFL xD).

"Nuh-uh," Ash pouted.

"You stole my freaking role in this fanfic, to yell at people in random outbursts!" Brock glared, even though you couldn't really tell.

"…" He didn't have a comeback or objection to that.

"You insisted on being my rival, and challenged me to a lot of battles. You also didn't become the Pokemon master." Gary sneered.

"Wait, why would that piss you off, Gary?"

"Because since I went into Pokemon research, you failed to complete what I easily could have done. Think of my grandfather, sitting alone, with a bunch of stupid, ugly, beginning trainers asking for a starter pokemon everyday! Do you know how depressing that is?" Gary cried dramatically.

The group went silent, except for Gary, who continued ranting about how Ash completely failed to become the pokemon master.

Finally, after Gary pretty much repeated what he had said earlier, a familiar, feminine voice in the distance shouted, "Shut the fuck up, Gary!"

Everybody stood in shock, except for Brock, who was ogling the poor girl walking to the Petalburg gym.

…

Wait a second, Norman is _somewhere _with Caroline, so why would she be walking to the gym?

The girl had fiery orange hair that went just below her shoulders, with a yellow skinny T-shirt and blue jean capris. Sound a lot like somebody you know?

She screamed as soon as Brock held her hands, and soon, Brock noticed her eyes were blue, no, **cerulean**, like a certain gym leader that used to travel with Ash and himself. There was a long pause before the said girl slapped Brock, took a mallet out, and walked towards the pervert menacingly.

"BROCK, YOU S-O-B! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" The girl turned out to be just whom you thought she'd be, and if you didn't already guess, it was Misty!

"Nice to see you too, Mist-"

"ARGHHH!!" Misty destroyed everything that came in her way, even a poor baby hemlock tree. Pray for that poor hemlock, pray.

"OMFG! SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THIS PSYCHO LUNATIC PERSON NOOB!!" Brock cried as he struggled to stay alive.

"Hi, Misty." Ash said plainly.

Misty stopped, and glanced over to Ash and asked, "Where's Pikachu?"

"Erm, he… Ran away." Ash sulked.

"Loser, your own pokemon ran away from you? That's just pathetic." A voice called out to Ash.

It was…

REIJI! No, actually, it was just Paul, with the same angry expression on his face that he always has. Drew raised his eyebrow at Paul, as if asking, 'Who the hell are you?'

"Hmph, I knew only a loser like you could actually get their pokemon to run away from them." Paul jeered.

Dawn didn't seem affected by his behavior towards Ash, so she waved enthusiastically to Paul.

"Hi, Paul! Whatcha doing here?" Dawn ecstatically inquired.

"Nothing. I just felt like taking the Hoenn Gym Challenge. That's all." Paul replied.

"Wait, why is Paul so nice to you, Dawn? He's always calling me a loser, and insulting me!" Ash shouted.

"Because I'm not a loser, like you." Dawn mocked sarcastically.

"Hi, May!" Misty seemed to forget about Brock as she greeted said girl.

"Hiya! What are you doing here, Misty?" May asked happily.

"I came to Hoenn because my sisters said they had a delivery to your dad's Gym, but as you can see, Brock interrupted me in doing so." Ok, Misty remembered.

"Wait a-BROCK, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Misty took out her mallet again, and ran screaming with her mallet in the air.

May and Drew knew that nothing could get in Misty's way, so they just sat there and watched as Misty hunted down and beat the crap out of Brock for being a pervert.

Paul and Gary decided to team up on insulting Ash, while Dawn watched them intently, occasionally complimenting Paul on his witty remarks.

"Hey, Drew?" May murmured.

"Yeah?" Drew replied monotonously, this was getting really boring.

"Why do you think we haven't gotten anywhere yet?"

"Because all these random things are happening, and nobody really feels like leaving."

"Hey, you know who Dawn likes, right?" May questioned.

"Even though I personally don't know her, since I just met her, I'd say she likes that guy with the purple hair." Grasshead said while flicking his hair(not flip, he is now abusing his glorious weird green hair).

"Oh yeah… I forgot his name, was it Peel?" May asked dumbly.

"Uh… Please tell me you're kidding, May." He really felt uncomfortable with her being bimbo-ish without being angry at the same time.

"Jay Kay, geez! I'm not _that _dumb!" Realizing her mistake, she quickly excused herself saying, "That's not what I meant! I mean I'm definitely NOT dumb!"

"Riiiight… How long is this supposed to take with Ash getting teased?"

"I dunno… Should we check up on Misty to see that she doesn't actually kill Brock? It'd kinda be awkward if we went to a funeral because of her."

He shrugged, and pushed her over to the others to get them back on track.

"Hey, guys?" May yawned.

"What?" Everybody replied, even Misty, who was trying to pummel Brock with her mallet.

"Shouldn't we be like, traveling to Lilycove so we can just go now?"

"Why are you guys leaving to Lilycove?" Paul asked, mostly because he wanted to spend some more time with Dawn.

"We're going on an adventure!" Dawn replied cheerfully in a 'Charlie the Unicorn'-ish way.

"And?"

"That's it, we're going on an adventure." The midnight-blue haired girl said, frowning.

Paul sighed, and slapped his forehead.

"Can you specify _where _this adventure might be?"

"Why do you care, Paul?" Ash inquired, suspicious of Paul.

The dark lavender haired boy who always had an angry expression fell silent. Dawn looked at him, no, **stared**, at Paul for an answer, hoping it was because he cared for her.

"Uh…"

"That's okay, Paul! You can always join us if you'd like! And hell, I'd have an excuse to ask you for a battle!" Ash replied cheerfully with a '' expression on his face.

"Didn't you hear me? I'm taking the Hoenn Gym Battle Challenge, I can't just LEAVE Hoenn and go to another region and continue on! It'd take so much time!" Paul shouted, worriedly.

"Oh yeah! About that, it's the Gym Battle Challenge of Hoenn this year… Well, you can't exactly become the champion this year, hehe, I forgot to tell you guys." May said sheepishly, with a faint blush of embarrassment on her cheeks.

"Why couldn't you just tell us that before, May? It's not like we're ALL coordinators like Dawn, Drew, and you! I actually dedicated my whole childhood to this!" Paul cried, distressed.

"Paul, you've got to be kidding me. Dawn told you she was in Petalburg in Hoenn, so you came just to see her." May retorted, and smirked.

Paul sighed, defeated.

"Huh? What are you talking about, May?" Dawn shifted her head to the side, while looking confused.

"Oh, nothing." The brunette said, innocently.

Suddenly a pair of kids came running towards them.

A violet haired girl with dazzling dark blue eyes looked up and smiled.

"Oh, Sapphire-hime, we found you!" She said, delighted. And who was this little girl looking at? Oh, why, just our dearest May.

"We have urgent news, Sapphire-hime!" The girl exclaimed once again.

May stared at her, confused and shocked. She looked to Drew for assistance, but he couldn't really do anything.

"Your engagement to Prince Ruby of Petalburg Kingdom has been broken off, and in replacement, from La Rousse Kingdom, your new fiancé is Prince Jade and-Oh, I didn't see you there, Prince Jade." She grinned brightly at Drew as she said this.

"Shinari, you took my line! You were going to say the date of the wedding!" A midnight blue haired boy with dark eyes whined.

"Um, I'm sorry, I'm not this Sapphire…Hime, that you're looking for. My name's May." She said kindly.

"Hm, you're right. You're way too young to be getting married, and your hair is a lot longer than hers…" The boy said.

"Hey! Why do you two look so much like my parents?" 'Shinari' yelled at Dawn and Paul.

_'Oh, crap.' _They both thought.

Yeah, I forgot to update. Sowwy about that. D:

It still doesn't match chapter names, but it's more like a preview of the next chapter. Guess what Drew's gonna say. ;D


End file.
